The Blob (1988), Directed by Chuck Russell

The Blob is better than it should have been. In fact, I would venture so far as to say I loved this film. As far as creature features go, The Blob is definitely a throwback to a simpler time, from when planets were named with numbers and Santa Claus defeated the Martians. Of course, that’s because the 1988 movie is a remake of the 1958 film of the same name. I haven’t seen the original, but I imagine what makes this movie so fun (a luckless chap getting sucked down a deep sink drain, anybody?), couldn’t be done with effects back then.

Like nearly every movie in the 80s, there’s plenty of big hair. That’s terrifying by itself. But there’s also Matt Kevin Dillon and a younger version of the lady that crawls around in syringes in Saw II. It’s nice to see Shawnee Smith before she was a junky.

The 80s saw a resurgence of horror, and probably produced some of the scariest films ever put on celluloid, so it might seem strange Russell would go all the way back to the 50s for some inspiration. But while the world was getting used to Freddy Krueger and Cenobites, there was still room for a gelatinous dissolver of human flesh.

What I loved most about the film was the “anybody goes” attitude Russell had. Nobody was safe, nobody was sacred, and what I thought would be a main character dies rather unceremoniously in the first act. That’s what made it scary and fun: anybody could go at any time. Some of these deaths happen on screen, and some off screen, but they’re each terrifying in their own way.

Everything about this movie screamed 80s, from the hair to the reveal that the titular character is a Cold War weapon, but it’s only slightly dated beyond the technology shown. This movie could easily be remade again, and I’ve read that’s happening, but I don’t think anything more can be gained by doing that. In fact, I’m kind of horrified by the thought of a CGI blob. The practical effects in this movie make it cheesy and fun, and that’s what a good 80s horror movie is about: Taking the cheesy and fun and killing you with it.

So, you’re thinking the monster is a little ridiculous. On the surface (pun intended), I suppose it is. But the movie does a fine job of getting you past the ridiculous factor, and, in some cases, cheering for it. You want to see get through the phone booth or drop from a ceiling.

The story-telling is generic at best, and does present a rather formulaic experience. But I can forgive it that, because it does such a great job with the formula. It isn’t meant to be anything more than it is, and I have to respect that.

Without giving anything away, the ending provides a Twilight Zone-esque experience that for today’s cinema-going audience would assure us a sequel. But, just like Nedry’s missing dinosaur egg-holding shaving cream can, that nod to something more sinister down the road was left unchecked. And I applaud that, whether it was by design or by accident.

I don’t do a star system, or two thumbs up, or some other grading scale. But, if I did, I’d give this movie a “Rad” on a scale of 80s lingo.